Matchmaker
by sofia313
Summary: "You know what Elijah needs? A woman." Thankfully his siblings are always ready to help. Just a little one-shot


Klaus sat on the couch trying to concentrate on sketching, although it was very difficult when his sister was in the same room, rambling on and on about things that interest him just as much as sticking his head into an oven. Actually, that would probably be less unpleasant than this. At the moment he honestly couldn't remember why he had wanted a family. Perhaps he could trade them for a moment of peace and quiet… Or not. Kol seemed quite upset when he marched in and sat on the armchair, lifting his feet on Klaus' antique coffee table.

"Since when have it been a crime to kill people?" Kol pouted.

"I think since humans invented laws," Klaus replied keeping his eyes on his sketchpad. "Don't tell me that you got arrested."

Kol snorted.

"No, I was planning to have a nice dinner with couple of cheerleaders but apparently someone thinks that wouldn't be very nice…"

"Which cheerleaders?" Rebekah interrupted him. "We have a practice tomorrow so you better not killed anyone important…"

"I didn't have a chance," Kol snapped. "Elijah showed up."

"Oh," Klaus muttered. "He really does know how to be a buzzkill."

"No kidding. And you want to know what else; he said that he's very disappointed of me."

"Ouch," Klaus and Rebekah said simultaneously. "Did he use 'the look'?"

"Yes."

All three of them sighed. 'The look' was Elijah's specialty, this sad 'I'm not angry, just disappointed, carrying the whole world on my shoulders, save the whales, my puppy just died' look. They all knew it all too well.

"You know what Elijah needs?" Rebekah said.

"I can think of several things," Kol muttered. "Like a sense of humor or…"

"A woman," Rebekah interrupted him. "If he would get laid for time to time, he might actually stop being such a buzzkill."

Klaus and Kol stared at her.

"You know what, I think that for once you might be on to something," Kol said. "Elijah seriously needs to loosen up. We should get him a courtesan…"

"First of all, they are called hookers these days, and second of all have you met Elijah?" Rebekah snorted.

"Bekah's right, that's not his thing," Klaus said.

Kol rolled his eyes.

"No, I suppose not. What are you suggesting then?"

Klaus looked thoughtful.

"We can find him someone suitable, that shouldn't be too difficult."

Rebekah nodded.

"Sounds good."

"How about we all go out and make a list of suitable candidates, then we decide which one would be the best and arrange a meeting."

"What if Elijah doesn't like the woman we choose?" Rebekah asked.

"That's the whole point of finding a suitable woman," Klaus replied. "We'll meet here later with the lists."

Klaus couldn't believe that he hadn't thought about this before, Elijah had been just as boring for centuries. It was definitely time to help him to loosen up.

* * *

"Alright, what do you got?" Klaus asked.

Rebekah looked very pleased with herself when she handed him a piece of paper.

"Let's see… My boring biology teacher, the woman who does my nails, the least ugly waitress from the Grill, Carol Lockwood…" Klaus looked up. "Carol Lockwood?"

"Yeah, Elijah likes boring, I mean civilized women so she would be perfect. Not to mention the older ones are usually very grateful"

Klaus didn't even bother to comment that.

"Let's see yours, Kol."

His little brother grinned.

"You'll be happy to know that I did a lot of research for this."

Klaus looked at his list.

"Lulu, Candy, Cherry, Brandy… You went to a strip club, didn't you?"

"Yep, and I personally tested every single one of these ladies, quality performers, I can tell you."

Klaus frowned.

"Mistress Veronique?"

Kol smirked.

"What a woman… And she can spank Elijah if he's bad; she's very, very good at it."

"Ew!" Rebekah protested. "That's gross!"

Klaus sighed.

"Do I have to do all the thinking around here? Thankfully I found someone who is perfect for him."

"Who?" Kol and Rebekah asked simultaneously.

"Come on, I'll show you."

His siblings followed him to a car and they headed to the centre of Mystic Falls. At first Klaus had figured that the selection wasn't very good here but then he had spotted something quite interesting at the Grill. Perhaps she wasn't a type that would immediately caught men's attention but there had been something intriguing about her. She had been having a cup of tea and reading some sort of philosophy book. According to his experience Elijah liked intelligent women, he enjoyed boring conversations. And she wasn't really so unpleasant to look at with her chocolate brown hair and glasses. Brunettes were definitely Elijah's type. He had followed her when she had left and noticed that she worked in the library. Perfect.

"Her?" Rebekah asked disbelievingly when he pointed her to his siblings. "She's a librarian!"

"Now, now, Bekah, librarians can be quite naughty," Kol said. "I saw this great movie…"

"That was porn," Klaus interrupted him.

"Yeah, one of the greatest inventions of modern times."

"Seriously, ew," Rebekah said glaring at Kol.

"I'm telling you, she's perfect for him, smart, pretty…"

"A geek," Rebekah snorted.

Klaus shrugged.

"Your ideas weren't so great either. Let's hook them up and see what happens, I think Elijah will have no problem nailing her."

They all looked at her sitting behind the counter and typing. There weren't many people in the library, only some students. Suddenly she picked up her phone.

"I'm at work now, can I call you later…. What?" She frowned. "No, Effie, I think that would be a very bad idea… You are a grown woman; you should learn to be more responsible… No, I'm not angry, just disappointed…"

Klaus, Kol and Rebekah stared at her.

"My god…" Rebekah muttered. "We have found a female version of Elijah."

"We definitely have to hook them up," Kol said. "Does anyone have any good ideas?"

Klaus grinned.

"Oh, I might have few…"

* * *

Elijah was very tense when he stopped his car and stepped out. What had Kol got himself into this time? He had sounded strange on the phone, saying that he needed some help. This should be the right place but his brother was nowhere to be seen. The night was quite chilly and the town was quiet, there wasn't much nightlife here. Elijah looked around but there was no sight of Kol. He was just about to call him when he got a message from his little brother.

_All is taken care of, sorry for bothering you._

Elijah sighed; apparently his brother had made him to drive all the way across the town in the middle of the night for nothing. Suddenly he heard something, it sounded like a muffled scream. He scanned the street and heard some movement from an alley.

"Get your hands off me…" a woman's voice said.

"Oh, come on, baby, don't be like that…"

Elijah zoomed towards the voices and saw two men who had trapped a woman against a wall.

"Leave me alone," she said with a shaky voice. She was a petite little thing, her brown hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing a coral skirt with a matching sweater. The other man took her glasses and threw them on the ground.

"You won't need those, sugar…"

"Get your hands off her," Elijah said icily. If there was something he couldn't stand, it was men who mistreated women and children. Men turned to look at him, they seemed like some typical punks who liked to hang around in bars; apparently they were drunk.

"Mind your own business," the other one said menacingly.

"I suggest you apologize to the lady and leave right now," Elijah replied calmly.

They stared at him disbelievingly and started to laugh.

"A joker, are you? We'll see about that…"

Elijah twisted the first man's hand back effortlessly, breaking at least two of his bones in the process, and threw the second man against the wall like a ragdoll. He couldn't see any reason to go easy on them, they were nothing but scum.

"No, please, "the second man pleaded, a terror spreading on his face.

"Get out of my sight," Elijah growled.

They certainly didn't need to be told twice, they were running as fast as they could. Suddenly a quiet sob reminded Elijah that he wasn't alone. The woman was leaning on the wall, looking at him insecurely.

"I apologize if I scared you, miss," he said hoping to sound calming and picked up her glasses.

"Thank you," the woman said quietly. "I…I don't know what happened, I was in my car and then someone grabbed me and…I woke up here…"

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

She looked confused.

"I don't think so. But my car… I…I have to call the sheriff. I have to get home…"

"I can take you home if you like; my car is right behind the corner."

She gave him a cautious smile.

"That would be great. Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome. I'm Elijah," he said and held out his hand.

"Angelica," she introduced herself and shook his hand.

Her hand felt warm and soft. Then he noticed a book on the ground and picked it up.

"Is this yours?"

"Yes, how did it end up here…" she muttered.

"This is very good; I have read it as well."

"Really? I have almost finished it, very interesting."

"Indeed."

Elijah offered her his jacket and led her to his car. She gave him a smile when he opened the door for her. For a moment he couldn't help but thinking that maybe he hadn't come here for nothing after all…

* * *

"That's so sweet," Rebekah muttered. "He gave her his jacket."

"They seem to get along nicely," Kol said. "Too bad we don't have popcorn or something, this is just great entertainment."

"I'm a genius," Klaus said grinning. "Don't be shy to say that."

All three of them were on a roof across the street observing Elijah's first encounter with the female version of him.

"Just a second," Kol muttered. I just thought of something. If those two really hook up, wouldn't that mean that basically we would have two Elijah's? Can you imagine hearing 'I'm very disappointed in you' in stereo?"

Klaus and Rebekah were quiet for a long while. Klaus bit his lip.

"Maybe I'm not a genius…"


End file.
